kill 'em with kindness

hello there! it has been so crazy this week with real life that my blogging life has had to go on hold for a few days. sorry about that, because i have all kinds of ideas on how to be a happier person, and i am dying to share them with you!

i haven't always taken my dad's advice on things, but on one thing he hit the nail on the head. whenever i had a problem with a classmate at school or with one of my siblings, my dad frequently gave me the same advice: kill them with kindness. it's one of those things that sounds so easy to the person saying it and i always wrote it off as being much more difficult to carry out. so i didn't always exactly listen to my dad. and now, as an adult, i've found that if someone is really making me bananas, i just need to serve them in any way i am able.

service is awesome. it makes you feel good to do something for someone else, the person you've served feels great because you've done something nice for them, and everyone is able to see each other in a different light. i think that it works so well because people get in relationship ruts with one another. by relationship ruts, i just mean that since you only ever see each other under certain circumstances, you have prejudices set up for your encounter with that person before you ever interact. that puts stress on your interaction, and afterwards you're left with the same feeling you "knew" you would feel beforehand. i have some family members who totally drive me nuts, and i always feel like they'll make me crazy when i see them. but when i do something nice for them or they do something nice for me, i'm always forced to rethink my feelings about them, and it always comes out as more positive afterwards.

another reason why providing service for someone is so great is because during the time that you spend with them or focusing on them, you are pulling yourself away from thinking about you and you are forced to think about them. what sorts of things does this person appreciate? in what area does this person need the most service? what is something that only i can do for them? putting yourself in their shoes can help you realize how much a person really goes through. it can help you understand why that person does whatever it is they do that makes you crazy. and, most of all, i think it helps us realize that whatever crazy-making thing they do, it's really not about us. it helps you to develop a fondness or even a love for the person who you are helping.  and who doesn't need more love in their life?

my favorite reason why i love service is that for however long it takes you to perform your act of kindness, you are not thinking about yourself. you are anticipating the needs of someone else and imagining how awesome they will feel when they see what you've done. and maybe it feels amazing to do something great for someone, but that feeling isn't the reason why we do it. we do it because we want to do something great for someone else. i think this is why everybody loves christmas. as children, we loved receiving presents, and now, as an adult, i love shopping for others. i love making presents for others too. so why does christmas need to be the only time we give gifts? service can be done anytime for anyone.

so that's my advice for today. do you want to be a happier person? you want someone to quit driving you nuts? do service for them. if you don't have any ideas for what someone might want or need, put yourself in their shoes and think of what you might like if you were in their position. i promise it will make you feel happier as a person.