gratitude

you hear it from your church leaders. you hear it from your parents.
  "be grateful." 
ever wonder why it is that so many wise old owls tell us to do it? whether through prayer, meditation, or just making gratitude lists, expressing gratitude can increase anyone's happiness significantly. even if i have to start with the smallest, silliest things, it is one of my favorite ways to achieve an instant pick-me-up in my attitude, which totally improves my overall happiness level.


this really is a fool-proof way to feel happier, no matter what. i say that because no matter how bad things seem, being grateful always helps me shift my focus from what could be better to what i already have. when making my gratitude lists, i only think of myself and my family. i do not compare the blessings i receive to the blessings of my friends and neighbors. if i can keep from thinking about what others have, i notice that i genuinely feel happier. i think this is really important because sometimes it's easier to see what people around us have instead of what they lack.

when my husband is gone for months at a time with the army, it's so easy to become discouraged. sometimes i honestly do not feel married. some people might enjoy that, but not me. being married is one of my very favorite aspects of my life! so even though it's hard to be married to someone so far away, i really like to think about all of the blessings that i have that make it easier.

a list i could make about my husband being gone may look like this:

• i'm grateful josh is safe.
• i'm grateful i get to have endless "me" time.
• i'm grateful that i get to watch whatever i want on tv.
• i'm grateful that josh has a job so that we can work on getting out of debt.
• i'm grateful for skype.
• i'm grateful for the postal service.
• i'm grateful for our (almost) daily phone calls.
• etc.

the list can really go on and on that way. thinking about the things that i am grateful for help me take away the focus from the fact that i'm missing my husband because he's gone. once my attitude is adjusted, my problems don't just magically disappear, but they definitely feel much more manageable.

sometimes i have bad days where all i want to do is stay in my pajamas and curl up in a blanket on the couch. watching videos that normally wouldn't affect me suddenly causes me to burst into uncontrollable sobs. i miss people i haven't talked to in years, and i continue dwelling on childhood events that nobody can change. bad days happen. and sometimes i can't think of a single thing that i feel grateful for. on days like that, i start with the basics:

• i'm grateful i have somewhere to sleep.
• i'm grateful to have working eyes so i can see.
• i'm grateful for the warm house where i live.
• i'm grateful the sun is shining.
• i'm grateful my pajamas are so comfortable.
• i'm grateful i have cereal to eat.
• i'm grateful that i am healthy.
• i'm grateful that today isn't the end of the world. (until it is!)
• etc.

anyway, gratitude changes the way you look at the world. setting aside time every day to list the things you are grateful for can really help bring things into perspective. this can be achieved through prayer, meditation, or just writing out a list. i like making gratitude lists about my day because it helps me step back and really consider all of the positive instances from my day that i might otherwise forget. being able to remember the good stuff allows me to have positive conversations with my husband (or whoever) about my day, which leaves him feeling positive, creating a better atmosphere in which our evening can take place.

besides making gratitude lists, i also want to touch on the importance of expressing your gratitude to others when they provide service for you. whether your sister took the time to hang out with you for a few hours or your husband made you dinner, telling them how much it means to you can help you feel better, both by expressing your happiness and also acknowledging that they didn't have to do what they did and you appreciate them for doing it anyway. written thank you's are always awesome. who doesn't like getting a card thanking them for a small kindness? verbal thank you's work too. i think this is one reason why i like to pray for my gratitude lists, because i get to thank God for every one of the positive things on that list. and it's pretty awesome to be able to thank Him for at least a small percentage of the millions of things He does for each of us every day. if you don't believe in God or whatever, that's okay too. just be grateful.

let me know your thoughts on gratitude. do you feel that expressing gratitude can increase your happiness? what is your favorite way to express gratitude? i'd love to hear your thoughts. thank you so much for reading!