healthy body = healthy mind

almost two years ago, i made a decision about my health. and it wasn't a very smart one. my husband lost his job, i was enrolled in fifteen credits at utah valley university in the english program, i was working 30-35 hours per week making well less than i deserved, and i was allowing my younger sister and her baby to live in my spare bedroom. with attending classes, homework, babysitting, working, and trying to maintain a marriage with my depressed husband, i was exhausted. trying to cut off expenses we didn't need, i cancelled my gym membership in hopes that giving up on my body temporarily would encourage me to work harder on my schoolwork. this made sense in my mind at the time, but in practice it didn't work.
mediocre grades and a twenty pound weight gain later, i weighed 160 pounds. for a gal who's only 5'2, this is pretty overweight. i didn't look terrible, but i certainly was not looking my best. in some pictures you can't even really tell that i was so overweight.

i still really like this picture from this time in my life. this is one day shy of our second anniversary, january 29, 2011. joshy and i were having fun, and even though we were both a little chunky, we were still crazy about each other.

in other pictures though, my weight problem is much more apparent. when i visited my cousins mike and nina in the hospital when baby cedar arrived, i think i was at my heaviest i ever weighed in my life. and it's depressing, because that was such a happy day for everyone, but looking back at the pictures, i'm embarrassed that i let myself get that big.

this is june 5, 2011--barely over five months after the fun dancing picture, and i was poured into my clothes. you can see my belly button from here. nothing in my closet fit me, and i was so depressed and embarrassed that i was soon going to be living on the beach with my heavy-set body. but i felt like i couldn't help it. i kept eating fast food and drinking soda and doing little to nothing in the way of exercise. but a whole lot changed when i got to hawaii.

it didn't happen right away, but once alex and i finally got settled into amanda's house and were able to go out and adventure on a regular basis, the pounds started melting away. it helped that we were walking at least five miles a day, with many many more left uncounted. it also helped that we almost completely eliminated fast food and soda from our lives and were trying to eat healthier. but something happened. i felt happier. i went to sleep earlier at night and woke up earlier in the morning and actually looked forward to going to the bus stop and going running around the lagoon near our home. i liked eating healthy. and as i lost weight, something amazing happened. i had so much more energy!

with hiking and swimming and walking, alex and i lost a ton of weight! and even though i was pretty sure i was going to die when i was hiking this mountain (koko head), i made it, and i felt so good about myself.

so that's my tip for the day. are you having trouble with energy? are you feeling tired and depressed all the time? get outside and exercise! you will feel a hundred million times better than you ever thought you could. and maybe it's just a chemical reaction in your brain when you receive endorphins at the end of a workout, but isn't that all happiness really is anyway? it's the little things. let this little thing help to make you a happier person today. i know i'm going to.

what about you? do you have an amazing story about working out and how it contributed to your happiness? share it! if you have any other happiness tips or tricks, let me know and i'll write a post on it. because if we all work together, we can help each other be happier people. in my opinion, that's the whole point of humanity.

believe

i took a class a few years ago called "psychology of happiness." while enrolled in that class, i learned about a positive correlation between religion and happiness. a study was done in the united states that found that people with the highest satisfaction levels in their lives actively practiced some form of religion.

religion, not spirituality. when i took this class, i was practicing spirituality. i had friends who shared similar beliefs to mine, but i never felt any sort of camaraderie within my own spirituality. my husband and i weren't even on the same page. i was all alone. when i started going back to church and allowing the spirit to speak to me, i realized that i have similar beliefs to lots of other people. suddenly i wasn't alone.

religion increases your happiness level in several ways.

first of all, a belief in something higher than yourself can give you hope. i know that if human intelligence was the highest form of life in the universe, i would give up right now because of how intellectually-challenged the general population seems to be. i couldn't bring myself to believe that this is as good as it gets. let's be honest, my faith in humanity just isn't that strong. believing in a religion though, encourages me that there is somebody out there who is going to serve justice where it is due. i know i rest easier knowing that those who have committed horrible injustices will one day receive the punishment they deserve.

another reason why religion rocks the happiness charts is because when you regularly attend church services you feel part of something collective, something greater than yourself. the feeling of being a part of something larger can make you feel happy. this group can replace or just add to your already existing family. i know that when i'm traveling, this can also take the place of the friendships i miss from home. this collective feeling can even go a step further as you develop real friendships with people who have the same beliefs as you.

religion helps you complete your identity. when you are part of a religion, it's much easier to explain your beliefs to people, because many people already have knowledge of what each religion believes, to an extent.  it helps you realize your own beliefs too, because oftentimes people never stop to think about what it is that they do believe.

i love religion. i feel like having it in my life has increased my happiness exponentially. if you don't already have a religion you practice, i suggest you go find one. it will make you feel happier to have a designated religion that matches your beliefs.

what do you think? what about your religion makes you feel happier? have you had a great experience with religion? i'd love to hear it.

kill 'em with kindness

hello there! it has been so crazy this week with real life that my blogging life has had to go on hold for a few days. sorry about that, because i have all kinds of ideas on how to be a happier person, and i am dying to share them with you!

i haven't always taken my dad's advice on things, but on one thing he hit the nail on the head. whenever i had a problem with a classmate at school or with one of my siblings, my dad frequently gave me the same advice: kill them with kindness. it's one of those things that sounds so easy to the person saying it and i always wrote it off as being much more difficult to carry out. so i didn't always exactly listen to my dad. and now, as an adult, i've found that if someone is really making me bananas, i just need to serve them in any way i am able.

service is awesome. it makes you feel good to do something for someone else, the person you've served feels great because you've done something nice for them, and everyone is able to see each other in a different light. i think that it works so well because people get in relationship ruts with one another. by relationship ruts, i just mean that since you only ever see each other under certain circumstances, you have prejudices set up for your encounter with that person before you ever interact. that puts stress on your interaction, and afterwards you're left with the same feeling you "knew" you would feel beforehand. i have some family members who totally drive me nuts, and i always feel like they'll make me crazy when i see them. but when i do something nice for them or they do something nice for me, i'm always forced to rethink my feelings about them, and it always comes out as more positive afterwards.

another reason why providing service for someone is so great is because during the time that you spend with them or focusing on them, you are pulling yourself away from thinking about you and you are forced to think about them. what sorts of things does this person appreciate? in what area does this person need the most service? what is something that only i can do for them? putting yourself in their shoes can help you realize how much a person really goes through. it can help you understand why that person does whatever it is they do that makes you crazy. and, most of all, i think it helps us realize that whatever crazy-making thing they do, it's really not about us. it helps you to develop a fondness or even a love for the person who you are helping.  and who doesn't need more love in their life?

my favorite reason why i love service is that for however long it takes you to perform your act of kindness, you are not thinking about yourself. you are anticipating the needs of someone else and imagining how awesome they will feel when they see what you've done. and maybe it feels amazing to do something great for someone, but that feeling isn't the reason why we do it. we do it because we want to do something great for someone else. i think this is why everybody loves christmas. as children, we loved receiving presents, and now, as an adult, i love shopping for others. i love making presents for others too. so why does christmas need to be the only time we give gifts? service can be done anytime for anyone.

so that's my advice for today. do you want to be a happier person? you want someone to quit driving you nuts? do service for them. if you don't have any ideas for what someone might want or need, put yourself in their shoes and think of what you might like if you were in their position. i promise it will make you feel happier as a person.

walk the walk: be congruent

morals. ethics. values. beliefs. everybody has a system of thinking that they use to determine what is right and what is wrong. it doesn't matter if you are strictly religious or if you are a total rebel from all establishment, you view some things as right and some things as wrong. in my lifetime so far, i have noticed that people who are truly happy and at peace with themselves are people who live in accordance with their beliefs. why this is, i'm not exactly sure, but i do have a thought.

when you live according to your beliefs, you don't feel guilty about your decisions. i think this may be the single most important piece of the consistency puzzle. it's so important because there are several aspects to it.

1. if you are constantly second-guessing decisions you've made, you can't fully focus on the present (see first post on blog).  if you aren't focused on the past, you can live in the moment, and if you can live in the moment, you can enjoy yourself and feel happiness (as long as you are presently making decisions that are consistent with your beliefs).

2. when you feel guilty about something, you tend to hide from your loved ones because you feel ashamed. this is not beneficial to your happiness because being around people you love makes you happy (even if it sometimes concurrently causes you to feel other things as well). if you're embarrassed about decisions you've made, and you don't want your loved ones to find out, you constantly feel worried that you'll get "caught." constant worrying does not equal happiness.

3. if you have inner turmoil because you've done something you don't feel is right, you will not be able to achieve inner peace. feeling at peace with yourself is detrimental to your happiness. if you don't feel good about yourself, you pass that on to others you interact with, whether it's friends, neighbors, coworkers, or even your family members. usually this causes the people closest to you to second-guess themselves, which definitely does not spread happiness.

when you make decisions that pair up with and complement your belief system, you feel confident, proud of yourself in your choice, and eager to share your accomplishment with others. you don't question your actions later, but you happily reminisce about your good decision and feel positive about yourself for the rest of the day. this is how happy memories are made. be confident. be bold. do your research and do the things that you believe to be right. this is my secret to happiness today.

gratitude

you hear it from your church leaders. you hear it from your parents.
  "be grateful." 
ever wonder why it is that so many wise old owls tell us to do it? whether through prayer, meditation, or just making gratitude lists, expressing gratitude can increase anyone's happiness significantly. even if i have to start with the smallest, silliest things, it is one of my favorite ways to achieve an instant pick-me-up in my attitude, which totally improves my overall happiness level.


this really is a fool-proof way to feel happier, no matter what. i say that because no matter how bad things seem, being grateful always helps me shift my focus from what could be better to what i already have. when making my gratitude lists, i only think of myself and my family. i do not compare the blessings i receive to the blessings of my friends and neighbors. if i can keep from thinking about what others have, i notice that i genuinely feel happier. i think this is really important because sometimes it's easier to see what people around us have instead of what they lack.

when my husband is gone for months at a time with the army, it's so easy to become discouraged. sometimes i honestly do not feel married. some people might enjoy that, but not me. being married is one of my very favorite aspects of my life! so even though it's hard to be married to someone so far away, i really like to think about all of the blessings that i have that make it easier.

a list i could make about my husband being gone may look like this:

• i'm grateful josh is safe.
• i'm grateful i get to have endless "me" time.
• i'm grateful that i get to watch whatever i want on tv.
• i'm grateful that josh has a job so that we can work on getting out of debt.
• i'm grateful for skype.
• i'm grateful for the postal service.
• i'm grateful for our (almost) daily phone calls.
• etc.

the list can really go on and on that way. thinking about the things that i am grateful for help me take away the focus from the fact that i'm missing my husband because he's gone. once my attitude is adjusted, my problems don't just magically disappear, but they definitely feel much more manageable.

sometimes i have bad days where all i want to do is stay in my pajamas and curl up in a blanket on the couch. watching videos that normally wouldn't affect me suddenly causes me to burst into uncontrollable sobs. i miss people i haven't talked to in years, and i continue dwelling on childhood events that nobody can change. bad days happen. and sometimes i can't think of a single thing that i feel grateful for. on days like that, i start with the basics:

• i'm grateful i have somewhere to sleep.
• i'm grateful to have working eyes so i can see.
• i'm grateful for the warm house where i live.
• i'm grateful the sun is shining.
• i'm grateful my pajamas are so comfortable.
• i'm grateful i have cereal to eat.
• i'm grateful that i am healthy.
• i'm grateful that today isn't the end of the world. (until it is!)
• etc.

anyway, gratitude changes the way you look at the world. setting aside time every day to list the things you are grateful for can really help bring things into perspective. this can be achieved through prayer, meditation, or just writing out a list. i like making gratitude lists about my day because it helps me step back and really consider all of the positive instances from my day that i might otherwise forget. being able to remember the good stuff allows me to have positive conversations with my husband (or whoever) about my day, which leaves him feeling positive, creating a better atmosphere in which our evening can take place.

besides making gratitude lists, i also want to touch on the importance of expressing your gratitude to others when they provide service for you. whether your sister took the time to hang out with you for a few hours or your husband made you dinner, telling them how much it means to you can help you feel better, both by expressing your happiness and also acknowledging that they didn't have to do what they did and you appreciate them for doing it anyway. written thank you's are always awesome. who doesn't like getting a card thanking them for a small kindness? verbal thank you's work too. i think this is one reason why i like to pray for my gratitude lists, because i get to thank God for every one of the positive things on that list. and it's pretty awesome to be able to thank Him for at least a small percentage of the millions of things He does for each of us every day. if you don't believe in God or whatever, that's okay too. just be grateful.

let me know your thoughts on gratitude. do you feel that expressing gratitude can increase your happiness? what is your favorite way to express gratitude? i'd love to hear your thoughts. thank you so much for reading!

live in the moment.

sometimes i get so wrapped up in the technicalities of life -- the details that make up the minutes of my day -- that i forget to have fun, i forget to live.

i could lie and blame it on my husband being gone. i could say that my passion left when he flew away in june, but that would be misleading. to be honest, i'm an incredibly analytical, logical girl who rarely makes decisions based on what "feels" right, but rather weighs out all of the pros and cons before jumping into anything. i'd like to say that marrying my husband was my exception to that rule, but i would be lying. i decided he was worth the trouble back when we began dating. i had been told by multiple boyfriends that i was marriage-worthy, and joshua was no different. but what distinguished my love is that he followed through, asking me to share forever with him as soon as he had the chance. because my husband knows a good thing when he sees it, and he knew that if he didn't ask, someone else would. even though josh makes me feel more alive than anything else in this world, sometimes i'm not even in the present when i'm with him, and i'd like to fix that.

but i didn't come here just to talk about joshua. i could (and will) talk about joshua all day because i'm crazy about him. i am here to talk about my attitude about life. for the past four years i have taught preschool to pay my way through college. although the pay has never gotten me ahead, the love i have for the job and the children totally makes up for it. i'm not teaching this fall, however, because i am currently nannying for two darling children. they are one and three years old, and most days we have a lot of fun together. but sometimes i forget that life is all about having fun, and then i get uptight and stressed out about things that really don't matter in the long run. so i'd like to share with you what helps me snap back into my favorite, fun-loving attitude, and that is this: live in the moment. 


that might sound way too easy, but that's my secret. i dare you to try it. don't worry about who just sent you a text. don't think about everything you need to be doing in a half hour's time. don't multi-task. if you eliminate these things from your day, you will enjoy your life so much more. i'm going to make an effort to live "in the moment" at least once a day for this next week. and by "once a day" i mean that for at least a block of 30 minutes, i will only focus on the moment. 


do you have a story about a time when you lived in the moment and felt more alive than ever? do you feel like there are better ways to go about living in the moment? share your story in the comments box below. I'd love to hear it.